What is Birth Mother’s Day?

Every year, the second Sunday of May is dedicated to mothers. At ACFB, we celebrate all mothers on this day, from birth mothers to adoptive mothers to mother-figures. For some birth parents, Mother’s Day can be very difficult. They may be reminded of the pain of having a child that they are not parenting. While they will always be connected to that child, their role as a mother is different, which may make some birth parents feel that Mother’s Day is not meant for them. Although ACFB encourages honoring all types of mothers on Mother’s Day, we also celebrate Birth Mother’s Day on the second Saturday of May. This day is dedicated solely to birth mothers, acknowledging their strength and courage. All too often, they are overlooked and disregarded, made to feel that their pain is not significant because they made the choice to place their child. Birth Mother’s Day serves as a reminder that the choice to place a child for adoption is not easy. It is a sacrifice that birth parents make for the benefit of their child. Although it is a choice they willingly make, many birth parents still experience grief and loss after placing. By celebrating Birth Mother’s Day, we make space for their pain and honor the loving choice they made for their child.

Birth Mother’s Day is also a time to celebrate the special role they serve in their child’s life. Not only do birth mother’s give their child life, but they choose the loving adoptive family for their child. Like all mothers, they care deeply for their child. That love does not stop after they place their child for adoption. Birth mothers also serve as an important connection to their child’s background. Since the child does not share their adoptive family’s genetics, they may question why their hair is curly or where their talent for singing comes from. Birth mothers are able to share that unique connection with their child, teaching them where they come from and the history of their birth family.

It is also important to recognize that for some birth mothers, having a separate day to celebrate themselves is not comforting or joyous. For some, it may emphasize the grief and loss associated with adoption and underscore the heartbreak they feel. Although they made the loving and courageous choice to place their child, that does not mean it was an easy decision. Birth Mother’s Day can bring complex, conflicting emotions. It is important to meet each individual birth mother where they are. Recognize that some may happily welcome this day, while others prefer not to acknowledge it.

Each year on the second Saturday of May, ACFB honors the courageous mothers who have made the selfless choice to place their child for adoption. We also make space for the grief that comes with placing a child for adoption and acknowledge that this can be a difficult day for birth mothers. We recognize the love they have for their child, the sacrifice they have made, and the strength needed to do so. This Birth Mother’s and Mother’s Day weekend, we encourage our community to commemorate the birth mothers in their lives, celebrate their love, and appreciate the bravery they have for making an adoption plan.

For the birth mothers who may be reading this, there is a community of birth parents waiting to support you through the On Your Feet Foundation. If you’re interested in connecting with others who share your experience, please visit www.onyourfeetfoundation.org