Pamay
Dear Expectant Parent,
A very warm hello to you! I’m honored that you’ve taken the time to view my profile. I hope that
when you read this letter, you’ll learn a little about me. As a mother who’s already experienced
the joy of adoption, I’m eager to expand my family and provide a loving home to another child. I
would love to meet you and learn more about you and the hopes and dreams that you have for
your child.
About Me
My name is Ekpedeme Bassey (pronounced ek-ped-uh-may). My name means “who but God
could have given me such a beautiful child.” Most people call me Pamay, which is my nickname.
My parents were born in Nigeria, West Africa. They were together for 50 years, until my father
died in 2009.
I was born in New York. At six, I moved to Atlanta, where I grew up. I went to college in California at 16, then moved to Chicago for graduate school. For the most part, I have lived in Chicago as an adult and consider it to be my home now. In school, I studied computer science and worked as a consultant for many years. I now work for Kraft Heinz, the food company, and am responsible for training for 40,000 employees that work around the world!
I studied improv, comedy, storytelling, writing, and theater at The Second City. I have performed as a comedian and an actor and have a love for public speaking. In my spare time, I like to read and write (I have written three books). I love spelling bees and flower bouquets. I enjoy traveling (I have lived in Japan and in Germany and traveled across Europe, Asia, and Africa). I enjoy walking by the lake here in Chicago and love sharing new experiences with my son. I have fallen in love and been heartbroken. I have not yet met my life partner, but that has not changed my desire to build a family.
About My Son
I have a wonderful 2-year-old son named Sampson, who has filled my life with joy. He has taught me so much. He is a constant source of love and laughter, and I know he will make an amazing big brother. Given my experience of having three sisters, I would love Sampson to have the opportunity to grow up with a brother or sister. I envision them playing together, supporting each other, and creating lifelong memories.
I’ve also learned a great deal about navigating an open adoption with Sampson’s birth mother. I respect her wishes to connect on her terms, sharing updates and milestones when she’s interested and honoring her need for space and silence when she chooses. I’m committed to extending this same respect and flexibility to you, should you choose to pursue an open adoption with me. I want your child to know their origin story, while also respecting your boundaries and needs.
My Village
My family is a vibrant and loving one, with a strong sense of connection. Two of my sisters live in Chicago, as does my mother. She has embraced the role of grandmother and loves my son tremendously! My youngest sister lives in Los Angeles. I have a large extended family with cousins all over the world who have young children. We make a conscious effort to bring the kids together regularly to have shared experiences and create memories. I have also created a network of new mothers here in Chicago – many who have adopted. I envision our kids growing up together, forming lasting bonds and creating a lifelong support system.
Family and friends are everything to me. My village is a diverse and loving group, with a strong sense of connection and community. They’ll provide a network of role models and mentors for your child, and I’m grateful for their love and support. From my sisters, who are already amazing aunts to Sampson, to my friends who have become like a second family, I know that your child will be surrounded by people who care deeply about them, as they already care about me and my son.
I am financially secure and can provide a stable and loving home for a child. I have had
academic and professional success and am in a place where I feel that God willing, I will have a
bright future, which makes me happy because it means that I have the resources to take care of
myself, my family, and the people that I love.
My Values
I believe in creating a home filled with love, laughter, and learning, and in fostering a strong spiritual foundation. I would raise your child in a faith community while encouraging them to explore their own beliefs. Sampson and I read together every day, and even though he is a typical toddler with ups and downs, we spend a lot of time laughing, which is my favorite thing to do!
When life gets difficult and laughter is hard to find, I always ask what I can learn from a difficult situation. This is how I have navigated life, either embracing the situations that are hilarious or taking a deep breath when things are hard and focusing on what I can learn from those things so that I can keep walking through life, one step at a time.
You might be wondering how I will balance my time, love and attention between two children. Please know I am committed to creating a family where both of my children feel equally loved, valued, and supported. I am prepared to make any necessary adjustments so both of my children thrive.
Looking Forward to Connecting
I can't wait to meet you. I understand the immense bravery and selflessness it takes to make this difficult choice. I believe in open and honest communication and will strive to respect your wishes throughout this process and beyond. I am happy to answer any questions you may have. I am eager to welcome a new child into our family and provide a loving, supportive, and nurturing environment for them to thrive. If you should find that you are comfortable with who I am and choose to select me as your partner in this next chapter of our lives, that would be a gift.
You may contact me directly at [email protected]. You may also contact my adoption counselor, Linda, at [email protected] or on her cell phone at (773)919-5702.
