Preparing for the Delivery as a Birth Parent
You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. The fact that you are considering an adoption plan does not mean you should be treated differently than any other parent giving birth. You have the right to make decisions about your care and your baby’s care. It is not the role of the hospital staff or anyone else to share their own opinions about your choice to place your child. Your counselor will be a strong advocate for you during this process.
Who would you like with you when you deliver? In addition to going through childbirth, you’re also navigating the complex emotions that come with placing a child for adoption. Doing that alone can be really hard. Many expectant parents find it helpful to have someone supportive by your side. This could be a friend, parent, sibling, partner, or even the prospective adoptive parents.
Would you like to spend time with your baby after you deliver? As the birth parent, you can make all decisions related to your child’s care while you’re in the hospital. One of those decisions is where your baby will be after delivery. Do you want to do the feeding, changing, and caring after delivering? Do you want the adoptive parents to do this? You may even like to do it together with them. Spending time with your baby in the hospital can sometimes give you comfort later as you process the loss that comes with placing. Ultimately, you can decide whatever feels most comfortable for you.
Would you like to take any keepsakes from the hospital? Your time with your baby at the hospital might be something that you think back on often over the years. It may feel comforting to have mementos from that experience. You may like to keep your baby’s hat, swaddling blanket, bassinet card, or footprints. Even having some photos or videos of you holding your baby might be nice to have for the future.
You should never feel pressured to move forward with your adoption plan if you have a change of heart. You make the choice to place your child for adoption twice. Once when you first start exploring adoption and again when your baby is finally here and it’s actually time to place them. For some parents when the baby has arrived, the reality of adoption hits and they might have second thoughts about their plan. That is completely OK. If you truly feel like adoption is not the right plan for yourself and your child, you are not obligated to move forward. Nobody should ever pressure you into that choice if you are not certain about it.
All emotions are welcome during this time. Joy, grief, sadness, and relief are all things other birth parents have felt, too. You are going through so much both mentally and physically. It’s normal to feel a wide range of emotions. Your counselor is here to support you through it all.
Giving birth and placing your child for adoption is challenging. You deserve to have your wishes respected throughout the process. Our compassionate counselors are here to support you through the process and advocate for you. If you’re considering adoption and are interesting in connecting with a counselor to talk more about your options, please reach out to us at (800) 869-1005.