Dear Birth Mother,
You probably never imagined you would read a letter like this. You might not have thought letters like this existed--but thankfully they do! You deserve to know what kind of life you would be giving your child if you choose adoption-- to know that your baby will be loved, protected, and given the best childhood possible.
We are Cate and Ryan (both in our early 30’s) and Cassius (Cash), who is almost two years old. Since before we were married, we knew that we wanted to build our family through adoption. Adopting Cash was a joyful first step toward the family we’ve dreamed of having. Now we’re ready to complete the crew with a new little member.
Since becoming a family of three, a lot has changed, and we’ve discovered new things we love to do. Gone are the days of quietly reading without falling asleep! Now we make up songs about changing diapers and read “Llama, Llama Red Pajama” three times in a row. And you know what? We love it! Two years ago, we could have never imagined the ways we’d grow or how adoption would feel. We now know, more than ever, that this is the right path for us. Cash’s birth mom is a part of our lives, and it is a joy for all of us. The bond of love we share has been an unexpected, wonderful gift in each of our lives.
As a family we enjoy getting together with friends for backyard barbeques or trips to the lakefront. When we travel, we prefer visiting family or staying in a cabin where we can take things easy. We are good humored and know how to make each other laugh (sometimes other people think we’re funny, too). We love getting outdoors, and enjoy taking walks in our neighborhood, feeding the ducks in the parks, or taking hiking trips. If Cash were in charge, we would spend 100% of our time playing hide and seek and eating applesauce.
I (Cate) grew up in a small town in Ohio, the youngest of four siblings. My family has always been spread out, so summer vacations were spent travelling around the country visiting family. Some of my best childhood memories are of playing outside in the summer, building forts in the woods with my brother, and begging my mom to let us sleep in them overnight (Never happened. Sad story!).
When I was in high school, my dad passed away. My mom eventually remarried, adding three more siblings to the mix! When you throw in nieces and nephews, it’s a big crew, one that already includes some adoptees. When we get together, we love playing cards and board games, and Cash enjoys watching concerts with grandpa or building forts with his cousins.
I (Ryan) come from beautiful Southwest Virginia. Although my immediate family has fanned out to different parts of the country, my extended family still lives there. My mom and dad are dedicated grandparents and are excited to meet their next grandchild! They are retired, living in North Carolina, and love having us visit so that Cash can play in the pool. I’m the oldest of three siblings. Way back when, you’d often find me and my sisters singing along in the car with one of our favorite bands or acting out scenes from a movie. Get us together today and things can still get pretty goofy!
Things Ryan loves about Cate
• She’s an attentive listener and has a warm spirit that draws others to her.
• She’s playful! Maybe it comes from growing up in a family of jokesters.
• She’s sharp as a tack. Easy answers and narrow-mindedness don’t fly with her.
• She loves people as they are.
• She’s a compassionate, sensitive, completely committed mother.
Things Cate loves about Ryan:
• He’s hilarious! He keeps everyone laughing at his jokes and silly impressions,which makes him an amazing dad and fills our home with Cash’s little giggles every day.
• He’s easy to talk to and a great listener who is always eager to learn about others.
• He’s easy-going and sees the best in everyone.
• He is a dedicated father and husband, always willing to put the rest of us before himself.
• He’s a talented musician, although most of his talents have been channeled into performing “Baby Beluga” and “Old MacDonald” by popular demand.
Things we love about Cash:
• He is an easygoing, happy kid. He’s always been patient and adaptable, which was great when we were newbie parents.
• He is tender hearted and observant of others. Whether it’s helping us “pat” our neighbor’s new baby or crying when his friend gets hurt, he seems to be a big- hearted little fellow.
• He loves surprises. Even if you are just surprising him around a corner. Man, that gets him every time.
• He reminds us every day to be joyful over the smallest things: barking dogs, wind chimes, the planes flying overhead, or pushing the button on the tea kettle.
Our Home and Community
Our home is in a diverse Chicago neighborhood full of families. We share a building with close friends we’ve known for over ten years, who have three children of their own (ages four, two, and two months). We spend time together sharing meals, doing projects, gardening, and just chatting in each others’ kitchens. Our church is a vibrant community, and plays a big part in our life. Cash has his own circle of friends at daycare, where his “abuelitas” treat them all like their own family.
We love the life that we’ve built and can’t wait to share it with our children. Our faith is important to us and guides the way we make decisions and treat others. These values will be a part of our home:
• Loving and understanding other people.
• Looking for ways to be grateful.
• Finding ways of serving others.
• Seeking truth.
• Approaching others with respect.
A Love Story
Maybe you never imagined that your adoption journey would be a love story, but it is. It starts with the selfless love you have for your child and continues with the lifetime of love that we promise to give to your son or daughter. If you are comfortable, we would welcome a future where you are a continuing part of this story. We know this is your decision to make and we will honor the relationship that you choose to have.
We hope we’ve given you a glimpse of who we are, and we would love to get to know you. Please contact us directly at cateandryanACFB@gmail.com. You can also talk to our adoption counselor Linda Fiore by calling Tollfree: 1-800-869-1005, through text at (773)919-5702, or through email at Linda.firstname.lastname@example.org.
Cate and Ryan