Dear Expectant Mother,
We love to dance.
This may seem a strange way to start our letter to you, but it says a lot about who we are. We have so muc joy that it bubbles up out of us and comes out in dance. We cook dinner to Bob Marley or 90s dance music and sway to whatever is playing while we stand in the checkout line. We would love it if your child could be a part of our little dance parties. Thank you for taking the time to learn about us.
We haven't been in your position, but we know several people who have, including Melissa's mom. Her mom was young and had intended to place Melissa for adoption. She realized that the situation was not right for her, and she changed her mind. That was during a time of closed adoption, and it would’ve meant that Melissa’s mom would not have known her. We believe in the importance of open adoption, and are grateful that adoption customs have changed and that ongoing contact between birth mothers and adoptive parents is common. It is very important to us that you are comfortable with the process and that you feel good about the choices you are making. We understand the decision is yours regarding the type of contact you would like to have, and we assure you that we will respect your decision.
About us and where we live
We first met online in 2013 when Steve wrote Melissa a message to introduce himself. Melissa discovered that a good friend of hers was in one of his profile photos. It turned out that this mutual friend was Steve's best friend from college. Soon, we discovered other friends in common and it seemed like we were meant to meet all along. We got married and we are now excited to meet the next great love of our lives. We hope you can be a part of it.
Melissa is a native Chicagoan and Steve moved here around 20 years ago. We love our city and have a three-bedroom home on the North Side of Chicago that we share with two friendly cats, Toby and Newbie. We have a large private deck and are close to several parks and playgrounds. We plan to stay in Chicago and give our child all the advantages that come from living in a big city. There are many options for schools nearby and our local public elementary school has a strong arts program. Our area is racially and economically diverse and has a lot of cultural opportunities.
We both love food and Chicago has some of the best restaurants in the world. We're lucky that we can find every kind of food imaginable here. We also love to cook. Melissa makes amazing soups, stews and the kinds of comfort food you want to eat on a cold winter night. Steve specializes in steak, fish and risotto, though sometimes he just asks what Melissa's in a mood for. He enjoys trying to cook whatever curveball she throws his way.
We also love all kinds of music and art in all forms. We love museums and galleries, theatre, and concerts. We have traveled a lot and seen, heard, and tasted amazing things along the way. We can’t wait for the chance to share it all with a child.
We are both working professionals and are at a place in our careers where we will prioritize family over career growth. Melissa is a former university professor who designs educational programs for surgeons. Melissa works both from home and in an office in downtown Chicago. Steve is a software developer who works full-time from home.
Our schedules are somewhat flexible and we are fortunate that we can be home for several months after the adoption. We will share equally in the joy and work of parenting. We are so excited to become parents!
About our Families
Steve grew up in Colorado. His dad, stepmother, and younger brother’s family still live there. We usually visit them a couple of times per year. The highlight of those trips is the chance to spend time with Steve's two young nieces who adore him.
Melissa grew up in Chicago and has two younger sisters who live in Florida and Illinois. Her niece and two nephews are older and she got to enjoy watching them grow up. Her parents are recently retired and are returning to Illinois to be closer to family.
We have a large, inclusive sense of family. Both of us have lived apart from our larger families of origin and so we've built extended families of our own. We share celebrations with these long-time friends and show up for each other when in need. Our child will know so many aunties and uncles!
For us, open adoption is a natural fit. It is important to us that your child knows where they came from and that you entrusted them with us out of love.
We want the best for you and your baby. It would be natural for us to consider your family part of our extended family if that’s your desire. We don’t presume to know your circumstances or your preferences about openness, now or in the future, but we can figure it out together.
To learn more about us, please contact our adoption counselor, Linda Fiore, at Linda.firstname.lastname@example.org, or call her at 1-888-382-6386. You can also contact us directly at melissaandsteveACFB@gmail.com.
With best wishes for you and your baby,
Melissa & Steve